is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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