Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
