HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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