I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
