The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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