Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just blew my weed a kiss
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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