I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
