Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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