Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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