I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
