What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
