Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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