Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Randomize
