Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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