Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
