Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
