Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
