If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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