so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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