i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize