I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
