i just wanna soil my oats bro
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
