Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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