Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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