Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
well you can't waste a boner
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
