Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
