the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Couch. On fire.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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