Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
