it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
