my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
