I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dignity is for republicans.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
