and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
