he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
