Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
