I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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