I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
