My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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