I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
