And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
