it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
