I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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