All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
