Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
