Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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