my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
