is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
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