Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
