Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
