fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
