I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
