I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
