I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
