with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
