So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize