I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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