glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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