Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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