What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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