I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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