I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
