Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
