My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
