She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
