I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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