You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
