problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
